


Shadows of a True Monster

by Starnote



Category: Monster Boy (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, M/M, Suicide mention, ill be adding tags as i go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-10-29 07:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10849284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starnote/pseuds/Starnote
Summary: It had been a month since Asher's death. With the heartbreak still hanging over him, another monster had come into Toby's life; one tauntingly similar to his lost friend. Just what the grieving boy needs right now.





	1. From Infinite Desolation

Darkness. There was nothing but inky darkness surrounding him. He had once lived in an expansive grey world, lonely and cold. As far as he knew, he was the only being to have ever existed. His mind seemed blank, devoid of emotion, as he traversed the plains of this desaturated land. There was only cold stone. There was only grey sky. The only thing that really stood out in this empty, uncomplete world was him. He had noticed his own inky black body, with white strips around his wrists and waist. Occasionally he had been distracted by strands the same colour as the rest of his body covering his eyes. The world had very little to offer, but nonetheless, he still felt rather attached to this wasteland. And now, as he stood motionless, it was gone. He had tried to move, to get away from this emptiness. But there was truly nothing. No matter how far he tried to go, everything was dark. He had no idea how long things had been like this. He honestly didn’t know how long he’d lived in the grey expanse either. For the first time though, he grew tired within this infinite darkness. He closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off. Sleep was comforting, but it was just as dark an abyss as the world he’d just shut himself off from.

Things were different when he woke up. He didn’t recognise the world around him at all. First of all, this world was colourful. He had to close his eyes again to prevent a complete sensory overload. Once he felt strong enough to open his eyes again to the foreign world, he looked around. The place he was in was a shut-off box with an assortment of weird items inside; he could see the rest of the world through a square gap in the side of the wall. The sky was a blend of yellows and pinks and blues as the sun rose that day. Birds were chirping sweet songs, giving him the first experience of sound he’d ever had, and god, it was beautiful. It was then that he noticed the large, black, inky blob that seemed to be looking at him. It took him by surprise. He wasn’t alone in the world. The blob looked at him solemnly, seeming to know something that he didn’t. But honestly, that could have been anything, so he decided against thinking too much about it. What truly took him by surprise was the figure laying curled up on the rectangular slab in the room. The figure was truly what made him freeze up. It had shaggy brown hair, white skin with brown dots all over his skin as far as the monster could see, and it seemed curled up tight in its sleep. He stared at it in gentle wonder. Glancing back up, the other monster had disappeared. Frowning in confusion, he wandered over to the sleeping figure. In some dark corner of his mind, he felt some connection with the boy. He felt a need to stick around him. He seemed to be stirring a little in his sleep, restless and distressed. The monster’s eyes widened and he backed away from the bed. As if on cue, a loud beeping sound yelled out from the alarm next to the boy’s bed. He made a soft groaning noise, exhausted from his restless slumber, and slammed the alarm off. He sat up in his bed and rubbed his sapphire eyes, the brown flecks on his skin apparently also on the back of his hands.

“Ugh… Morning, Vex…” He grumbled passively before freezing and looking back at the dark monster across the room. He seemed almost petrified, but then glared at him in cold fury. “…Are you kidding me?”

Before having an opportunity to react, the boy had already turned over on his bed and pulled the duvet back over himself. The monster was stunned by his reaction to him, very slowly stepping towards the bed again.

“…Hello?”

The boy didn’t respond.

“Who are you?”

Still no answer.

“I don’t have to be here if you’re just going to be a little bitch. I’m just trying to figure out where I am and why I’m here, Jesus.”

The boy stirred a little. That one must have gotten to him a little. The monster sighed.

“…I’m sorry. I just haven’t met anyone else before you and it’s frustrating I guess.”

The monster would have made an attempt to leave, but he honestly had no idea where he’d even go. He sat on the boy’s desk and glanced down at the floor. He didn’t want to leave the only person he’d met so far. He didn’t want to be alone again so soon. He closed his eyes and tried to be cold, like the boy. He didn’t care. He’d only just met him, for fuck’s sake. But he couldn’t deny the connection he felt. The boy sat up and moved so his feet were on the floor of the room.

“You’re so similar to him…”

The monster looked up at him in surprise. The boy’s posture had gotten stiffer and his words softer and sincerer. “…Similar to who?”

The boy sighed and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” He stood up and walked over to the desk. “My name is Toby.” The monster looked at him blankly. “So, what’s your name? Hope you don’t fucking mind sharing a host with Vex and Mini.” Toby said, a cynical, unsympathetic tone to his voice.

The monster glanced away. “…I don’t know.”

“How can’t you know your own name?”

“I don’t know! I wasn’t given a name. Who’s even supposed to give you names?” He asked, spreading his arms out in frustration.

“Ugh… Fine.” Toby glared at him in annoyance. “It’s fucking 6am and I can’t be assed to think of a name later. Your name’s New.”

“New?”

“Yeah, whatever. Can you get out, I need to get dressed for school.” New glanced to the door, not really knowing why he would need the privacy, but was willing to give him it. He nodded and Toby opened the door, knowing that this monster was incapable of anything, so would likely be incapable of fading away like Vex and Mini tended to. Slamming the door behind him, Toby went back and flopped onto his bed. New’s voice was so similar to…

He ignored the thoughts. He had stuff to take care of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello naughty children it's angst time


	2. Botanical Painting

Most days seemed hazy to Asher. They all seemed to be pretty much the same; get lectured by his dad and his teachers for his grades, hang around his home with the thoughts that as the middle child, he was likely the least favourite, draw doodles in his notebook of comic and character ideas that would likely never go anywhere, and hope to someday get Nexus off his case. Not to say that Asher’s everyday life was just a drag- he had Viola and Toby for best friends. They brought life and colour and joy to his world, making him happy on even the worst of days. Viola had been his best friend for years, sticking with him through thick and thin, even through the childish arguments they had from time to time. And then there was Toby. Toby was different. Asher put it down to the fact that he hadn’t been friends with him for as long as Viola. Despite that, the two of them just seemed to click. He couldn’t explain it.

During his lunch breaks, Asher tended to spend time in his teachers’s art classroom. She always went for her lunch in the staffroom, but allowed Asher to go into the class to draw. Today, he was spending his lunch drawing a still life of a potted plant. He’d carefully positioned the ivy leaves and lightly sketched the plant, and now was trying to accurately replicate the colours with a watercolour palette. He snapped out of his focus as he heard a gentle knocking on the classroom’s open door. Asher lifted his head and looked over, seeing Toby at the door. He grinned gently at the sight of his friend.

“Hey man. What’re you doing here?” Toby smiled and wandered over to Asher at his desk.

“I was just wondering where you were. Viola’s off sick but I texted her and she said you might be here.” Asher set his paintbrush down and placed the glass of paint water further away from his paper to make sure nothing spilled. Toby curiously glanced at Asher’s work and was silent for a moment. “…God, you’re so talented Asher.”

Asher smiled to himself and chuckled gently. “Aw, come on dude. It’s not that great. I really need to work on still lifes more often.”

Toby frowned and gently shoved him. “Hey now, quit being mean to yourself. Give yourself more credit Ash, this looks really, _really_ good.”

Oh, yeah. He was meant to stop doing that. It’s difficult to snap out of the self-deprecation. It’s even more difficult when you’ve got a monster around constantly reminding you of your flaws. Asher mostly ignored Nexus’ mockery, and even made fun of him himself alongside Viola and Toby, but he couldn’t pretend that it didn’t matter at all to him. It was a lot easier to listen to what Nexus said to him when it was only the two of them. The late nights where Asher was the only person awake allowed Nexus to get inside his head, amplifying the thoughts of being a bad friend, a disappointing son, an annoying younger brother and an absent older brother. The doubt of his talent as an artist and the impossibility of him becoming a professional artist.

Toby clicked his fingers in front of Asher’s face. “Ash? You good?” Asher snapped out of the negative spiral he’d found himself on for a moment. He looked back up at Toby, haven apparently been staring at the painting.

“Ah- yeah! Yeah, sorry, I’m good.” Asher stood up and walked over to the counter in the classroom, pouring the paint water down the sink and beginning to tidy up the supplies he’d borrowed. “You had lunch yet?”

Toby shook his head. “Nah, I was busy writing an entry for the blog. D’you wanna go grab something together?”

Asher set his sketchbook down on the counter to let the paint dry and smiled. “Hell yeah dude. Let’s get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY FOR  
> A) COMPLETELY FORGETTING THIS FIC EXISTED  
> B) THE SHORT CHAPTER-


	3. In Memoriam

New learned a lot about Toby pretty quickly; he was a journalist, with his own blog documenting monsters. He got the bus to school. There was a certain trio of kids he avoided as much as he physically could. The other monster he’d seen that morning was the one Toby had been talking about when he mentioned the name Vex. He was friends with a little albino girl, and apparently had been since middle school. He was in freshman year, and would soon be going into his sophomore year of high school.

He also despised New.

The only time that Toby had acknowledged him the entire day had been to complain about his existence to his friend (who was apparently named Viola) for no reason whatsoever. He didn’t get why it was such a big thing for him to be around Toby. Viola hadn’t been so quick to hate New, but was clearly sympathetic for Toby. Viola’s monster, Emese seemed stunned to see him. New didn’t understand any of the reactions the other monsters seemed to have to him, but they were the most positive responses anyone had to him, so he welcomed it. Hell, he’d even gotten a hug from Emese. It was weird, but again, it was nice that someone cared about him even a little. But despite the fact that they seemed to care, neither Vex nor Emese really talked to New. It didn’t seem to be anything he’d done; he was only confused and mainly kept quiet because neither of them spoke to him. As the day with Toby passed, New noticed groups of people laughing and talking together. After a while, New felt a dark, tangled mess in his soul. He wanted to just talk to Toby, to spend time with him in a way that wasn’t inherently negative. If all of the humans, and hell, some of the other monsters, could just enjoy each other’s company, then why couldn’t New have anything like that?

_______________________________________

“Are you sure he’s bad?”

Viola’s comment took Toby by surprise. What on Earth would make her think that- okay no, it’s understandable, she had Emese as her monster. She was basically being followed around by a mother figure. Vex wasn’t like her. He kept constantly criticising him and making him feel shitty, and he had been since day one. And as much as Mini wasn’t exactly bad, he didn’t really do anything good either. New, admittedly, could have genuinely not really known much, but Toby knew monsters. He studied them. He knew what most of them were like. The most likely scenario with New was that he just wanted him to hone in on the pain he’d been feeling for the past month. To focus on Him.

“…Yeah. I’m pretty damn sure, Vi.” Viola looked at him with an unspoken sadness in her eyes. Their monsters had all left the two be, and lunch seemed to drag on without Asher there to be a dork and laugh with the two of them. “…Why else would he be here so soon after-” His words got caught in his throat. It was still painful. He gritted his teeth and tried to power his way through the grief in his chest. Even after Toby managed to compose himself, Viola still looked at him with an undeniable look of heartbreak and sorrow in her eyes. Before he knew what was happening, she was hugging him. He felt his stoic façade fade away as he hugged her back and hugged her tight. Hugs like these had been becoming more and more common occurrences, and as much as they appreciated having a friend there for them, the fact remained that they’d both just prefer to be a trio than a duo. The two stayed that way for a few minutes, before feeling okay enough to break the hug.

Viola stayed quiet for a moment, wiping her eye. Oh shit, Toby didn’t know that she’d been crying. Inconsiderate shit like that was probably why Asher had died, if he had just noticed sooner-

Viola placed a gentle hand on Toby’s wrist, apparently seeing the anxiety and burning tears in his eyes. She tried to give him a small, reassuring smile, but it faltered. She wasn’t exactly assured herself. “…Toby, maybe this…this might be a monster like Emese, y’know…? Maybe he’s around here now to like…protect you from your own feelings? You already beat yourself up a lot over what happened…”

Toby sighed and closed his eyes. He didn’t trust New. He seemed…weird. Off-putting. Different. “…Maybe. But what am I meant to do? I can’t just let my guard down because there’s a slight chance that he’s not here to be awful to me.”

Viola glanced away, knowing he was right. “Well…just give him a chance. If he gives you any reason not to trust him, then don’t. I’m not saying lower your guard, I’m just suggesting that maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge him…” She hugged him again, trying to give him confidence that maybe things would be okay. Toby reluctantly hugged her back for a moment, before letting go and standing up, picking up his school bag.

“…Yeah. Okay.” He slung his backpack over his shoulder and stood there for a moment, unwilling to leave. “…I need to stop by Mrs Scott’s class. He apparently, ah…left a sketchbook there. And I told Mr Winters that, uh- since I’d be heading by the classroom anyway, I could pick it up for him.”

Viola frowned at him in concern. “Toby, you weren’t going to be heading there, you don’t take that class-”

“-It’s fine, Vi! It’s a favour. And, y’know, he’s friends with my dad, so! It’s not a big deal.” Viola sighed and shook her head. Toby’s defensiveness and denial was difficult to argue with right now.

“…I get it. You want to see his drawings. I don’t blame you. But doing this…it’s just going to be hard on you. Believe me. It won’t do you any good.” Toby shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.

“Yeah, well…I’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. I can handle myself. Either way, lunch is gonna be over soon, so, see you later.” He mumbled, striding off down the hall in the direction of the classroom.

_______________________________________________________________________

“What was that all about?”

Toby sighed in anger as he passed rows of lockers. “New, just go away. I’ve got more important things on my mind right now.” The monster flew around in front of him, blocking Toby’s path.

“Oh, are you talking to me now?” Toby glared at him with newfound hatred and stormed past him.

“Can you maybe not act all passive-aggressive? I’m sorry if your ego needs inflating or something but I don’t want to deal with any monsters today.” He felt angry tears burn in his eyes and rubbed his eyes to stop them before they started. God, could he even really remember where Asher’s old classroom was? Maybe it was down her-

Toby stopped in his tracks. Down the hallway, two sets of lockers away, was the memorial. Asher’s old locker. It wasn’t a huge memorial or anything. There were a few small flowers, a few photos of the Winters’ family and a photo of the three friends together. It had only been kept together by Becky, who happened to be there now. She placed a dandelion in one of the slits of the locker and was taking away dead flowers. She had been so cheerful before. Maybe a bit cocky, but damn, she’s a teenager. Now, she seemed close to a husk of her former self. Toby had noticed her around school, acting fine with her friends, but now, she was alone. And she had the weight of her baby brother’s death on her shoulders. Toby wanted to move, but couldn’t. He wanted to help her to feel okay, if even for a moment, but even if he tried, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. He was Asher’s friend. Toby would probably do nothing but remind her of him.

New’s voice broke the somber silence. “Who’s that?”

Toby bit his lip and walked away from the scene. His hands felt trembly and he just wanted to go and curl up and cry. But he had a job to do. An obligation to the Winters’. And by doing this tiny thing, it could help them even a little. Even if it was just returning Asher’s art to them. Even if they’d have to face unfinished sketches and paintings. It was better than leaving it here, with possibly no hope of retrieval until Danny reached high school, if it hadn’t been thrown out by then. Toby hated the thought of something so precious being so easily disregarded.

“Toby?”

Fuck New. Fuck Nexus. Fuck anyone who ever made Asher feel bad about himself and fuelled everything leading up to his death. Asher’s gone. He’s gone and there’s no bringing him back. God, Toby would give anything to have him back. Just for a moment.

“Tob-”

“What the hell do you _want_ , New?! Holy fucking shit, give a guy a break for two minutes!” Toby didn’t care about the hurt look on New’s face. He didn’t care about the tears streaking down his own. He didn’t care who heard him. Nothing mattered. The only thing he cared about at that moment would never come back to him. There was nothing he could do to fix what happened.

“…Nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know its good angst when you almost cry writing it my dudes


	4. Art Block

Asher crumpled up the sheet of paper and threw it in the bin next to his desk. He was struggling to get out of his art block. The expressions just weren’t coming out right, no matter what he tried to do, and he was bored of doing art studies. He sighed and leaned back in his seat, running his hands through his hair. He looked around his room. Maybe he was just lacking inspiration. He tried to draw a few sketches of some video game characters, making the excuse to himself that he needed to work on costume design. Looking at the dumb doodles, he grinned to himself. They were starting to look pretty good.

A knock on his door interrupted his pride. He groaned in frustration. “What?”

The door opened, and his father entered his room. He seemed to sneer at the state of his bedroom, and walked towards his desk. “What are you working on, Asher?” Asher tilted up his sketchbook to show him, and his father looked at it quietly. “…You should be studying, son. You and I both know you definitely need to.”

Asher sighed and closed his sketchbook. “Whatever, Dad. Is that all you wanted?”

Asher’s father sighed and crossed his arms. “Well…if you need it I could help you with your homework. I was pretty good at music and chemistry when I was your age.” Asher rolled his eyes.

“No, I’m good, thanks. I want to figure it out for myself.” Asher knew that going to his father for help usually ended with being criticised or frustration. He’d tried to teach Asher how to drive a year ago; that ended with Toby’s dad offering to teach him instead. Asher’s father appeared to be too quick to anger, and far too easily irritated by him. He didn’t act the same with Becky or Danny; just him. The disappointment of a middle child.

Asher’s father lingered, standing by his son for a moment. “…Okay, well. Dinner’s almost ready, Becky wanted to make mac and cheese. You can start working afterwards.” He picked up a few items of dirty and disregarded clothing Asher had left lying on the ground before heading to the door and closing it behind him.

Asher sighed and crossed his arms, leaning on the desk. He tried to remember the last time he and his father actually enjoyed spending time together and couldn’t. His memories were just full of feeling like a bad son, of somehow not being good enough. He wanted to be able to get on well with his dad, but the two of them just seemed to have drifted too far apart over the years. Who knows if they’d ever be able to regain the relationship they used to have.

“He doesn’t love you.”

Asher grit his teeth at the sound of his monster’s voice. He’d become too used to his voice since Asher first saw him, and he’d had to convince himself, with the help of Viola and Toby, that the things he said weren’t true. But, it was another fun night alone. Nobody here in this room but the two of them. And it became a lot harder to stop himself from listening.

“Shut up, he’s my dad. Of course he loves me.” Nexus grinned sadistically and sauntered over to the side of Asher’s desk, able to now look him in the eye.

“Oh? And what about your mother, huh? She loves you too, doesn’t she? That’s why she lives here with you and your family.” Nexus couldn’t help but smirk to himself, before playing dumb. “Oh, wait! My mistake!” Asher glared at the monster, before turning his head and crossing his arms. No way was Nexus going to make him think about his mom today.

“Fuck off, Nexus.”

Nexus had a broad, mean grin plastered on his smug face. “I’m sorry, Asher, but the fact is that your family just doesn’t care about you. None of them would notice if you were gone. Your father has too much to worry about at it is, your sister would be better off with one less annoying little brother, and your brother would rather play with a spaghetti strainer than you.”

Asher looked back at Nexus in alarm. “Wait- you don’t _actually_ want me to kill myself, do you? Don’t you monsters feed off of humans? What would you gain by telling me to do that?” Nexus laughed.

“Oh, of course not, boy. No, no, I want something else from you-”

“Asher, dinner’s ready! Hurry up before Danny and Dad take all the garlic bread!”

Nexus looked almost insulted by Becky’s interruption, and Asher couldn’t help but grin at the expression he was making.

“Yeah dude, I think I’ll pass. Thanks for the suicide bait though! Really appreciate it.” Asher chuckled sarcastically, getting up and walking away from Nexus.

Screw that girl. Nexus almost had Asher actually listening to him about his proposition. Oh, well. There would be plenty more lonely, late nights for the monster to take advantage of.


End file.
